Legs, a photo gallery of jealousy.

I have terrible, short legs. The only brand that can exactly fit my leg length is Express' short hem.
I'm RIDICULOUSLY obsessed with long legs. I can't even kill daddy long legs'. It has to be envy. I always want what I can't, don't have.

Here are some pictures for you to ogle and drool over.

P.S. I saved the Liv Tyler picture for last. Of all the pictures I came across, it was definately my favorite. I think anyone else that checks this out will agree.

"glass half full shit."

I'm re-watching Garden State for the first time in about 4 years. Part of the reason I disliked it the first time around was because of Natalie Portman's character. The second part of that reason, was because someone once compared me to her character. I've always disliked her part in the movie, but I guess now after watching it a few times, she is a likable person, with a good heart, so how can you really go wrong? I guess it was her optimism that I was opposed to. Since I'm a negative Nancy. But now that I'm older, and more mature, I'm understanding the appeal to her. She's so kindhearted, sincere.
After all, this is a movie about my home state, I'm supposed to like it. And as unreal as it may seem, the movie does represent the Garden State almost one hundred percent. This shit was my high school, college years, current. Zack Braff, he did graduate from one of the Oranges with Lauryn Hill.. Supposedly..
"I realize how silly it is to take anything too seriously."
Maybe a few years too late I've felt that I should take this advice to heart.
I feel like I fully comprehend the meaning of that statement (in the present), and excuse the melancholy, but as a teenager, I was a miserable brat. But.. now, that sentence seems very close to my heart.

articles.

Hate Crimes Spike: Religion, Race, Sexual Orientation Are Main Targets -- Politics Daily
Seriously? This is depressing.

Why loneliness can be contagious.


Cops save swimming deer!
How adorable!

Hearing through skin.

I wish I had the balls to wear the gigantic faux fur vests

sweeeeeeeet jane

i do like fall weather.
crisp air and chills.
reminds me of being little.
it feels like now that i'm getting older, i barely recognize the seasons. they all just blend into each other and none of them have their specific traits anymore. i've only really felt autumn about three days this fall. it's a distinct sense. once again, crisp air, chills, warm earthy colors, sweaters, boots, walking home from school.
i don't feel that anymore.
everythings just kind of the same.
sometimes though, one day stands out more than the other and i'll get all nostalgic and feel warm and cuddly inside.
i love days like those.
especially once winter comes.
i love colder weather. :)
smiles everywhere!
i'm saving up my money to run away from home again, just this time i'm not sure where, but i'm thinking that i might cross some seas and/or continents to find a new favorite place.
i'm
excited
for something
new!

speaking of places to run away to..

here are some people that i haven't seen in months because they live so far away, people that i miss very much..

For what it's worth..

I swear to god, if I ever get another late night text message from a boy, any boy, I will lose my head. How stupid do I look?
THERE IS ONLY ONE REASON FOR A LATE NIGHT PHONE CALL.
Well, wait, unless you're out and hanging with friends and you're waiting for someone else to come and meet up..
but besides that..
THERE'S ONLY ONE REASON.
And no, I won't go over to your house, and you can't come to mine.
JEEZUS.

So with that said, maybe I'll ignore the text and hope the person gets the hint, instead of just bitching about it on my blog. Maybe.

dear hannah

I will eventually get to the posting about how I'm supposed to invite you all into my life.


The other night (last night), some of the key themes of my dream was:
kidnapping, escaping, babies, safety, stolen vehicles, daytime.

Right now, I have to copy and paste some interpretations of these parts of my dream,

Kidnapping = "To dream that you are being kidnapped, denotes feelings of being trapped and restricted. Someone or some situation may be diverting your concentration and your attention away from your goals. "

Escaping = "To dream that you escape from jail or some place of confinement, signifies your need to escape from a restrictive situation or attitude. Alternatively, it suggests that you are refusing to face your problems. You are avoiding the situation, instead of confronting them"

Babies = "To dream that you are babysitting, suggests that you need to care for the child within yourself."

Safety= "To dream that you have a sense of security, suggests that you may be experiencing much insecurity in your waking life. The dream is compensating for your lack of security. You need to feel well-protected, both physically and emotionally. "

Stolen cars = "To dream that you car has been stolen, indicates that you are being stripped of your identity. This may relate to losing your job, a failed relationship, or some situation which has played a significant role in your identity and who you are as a person"
"To dream that you are riding in an automobile, signifies that even in pleasant situations, you will still be restless and uneasy"

Daytime = "To dream of the afternoon time, suggest that it is time to put your energies to good use. Draw and learn from your past experiences and lessons. Alternatively, it symbolizes clarity to a situation."



Basically,
what all this means is,
I'm an insecure basket case that's unable to confront her fears/problems.
Although, the daytime totally throws off the whole thing.
Maybe there is hope for me yet.

samantha supertramp.

My dreams are trying to tell me something.
The main theme they've all shared;
helplessness.

So positive.
I guess I'm just a lost cause.



P.S. Very sick of these "The Ugly Truth" ads on facebook. I hate Katherine Heigl. I really want to banish her to an island inhabited only with Komodo Dragons.

plane crashes

I had a dream the other night about myself being in a plane crash.
I woke up gasping right before the plane would've "crashed."
This got me thinking.
I've never died in a dream.
And I wonder if anyone else has, if you're reading this, and you have, let me know. Explain the situation, too.
Like I'm pretty sure I've been dead in a dream, but I'm not sure if I've ever experience the act of dying.
I wonder why though. Like, is there a dream heaven? And if so, does that mean there's a real "heaven"? It got me thinking, cause dreams are so other worldly.
So if you can die in a dream and transcend to dream heaven, would that then mean that there's a real heaven?
I'm definately looking way too far into this, but it's a legit question.
Maybe that's why I can never die in my dreams, cause then I'll know the whole mystery of death.
Why else can't I die in my dreams?

tropical islands

Tomorrow I leave for the Dominican Republic.

I haven't been on a plane since Cancun (circa 2002). I'm a little nervous. That's the last time I was invited on a family vacation. BASTARDS.
I have an uneasy feeling. I think I'm going to be eaten by a shark. I know, I'm crazy. And I also know, that although I've had many summers at the Jersey Shore, I've never feared sharks before (despite the well-publicized shark attacks that happened during the 40's. Yeah, I want to say that's the decade.)
All I've been thinking about is how I'm either going to die in a plane crash or get eaten by a shark. I remember the first time I was on a plane, when I was 7, I had a horrible ear-ache during landing. I can remember myself screaming in pain, and I was a pretty quiet and reserved child. At least alone I was. Now at 22, if I were to see a child like that, screaming on a landing, I'd probably slap it. I never realized until recently how much I hate children.
I hate how my brother's 10 year old friends come to my house, raid my fridge, drop popcorn all over the floor, and think how it'd be such a smarter idea to eat it up off the ground instead of asking for help to clean it up.
I FUCKING HATE CHILDREN. OMG.
Thank GOD I'LL be away from little runts for at least a few days.

Speaking of death (via shark/plane), me and the bitches were talking today about how we'd like to die. And honestly, if I had to choose between dying spontaneous versus being ill for a long time and eventually dying of some horrible disease, well, I'd choose spontaneous death. And I know that sounds like an obvious choice for anyone. But let's say on the way home from my trip to D.R., my plane crashes. Well, in a way, I'd be happier with that ending, than dying of cancer 40 years from now.
When I die, I don't want to know that it's happening. I don't want to be like the people in my family who struggle for months trying to beat a disease, only to lose. I'd so much rather die without being able to think about it. I don't want to think of my death. I don't want to be bed-ridden for months thinking about when my time will come and what will happen to me after that time comes. Cause, to be honest, I don't think anything happens when you die. I think that you die and that's all there is, and that's actually quite miserable.
I know you're supposed to make the most of the time you have on earth or whatever, but it's depressing to think that I'll die and all I'll have after my death are the memories that other people will have of me. That's what I think happens. When we die, that's it. That's our life. Do we remember what happens before we are born? No, because we don't exist. And will we remember what happens to us after we die? No, because we don't exist.
It's sad, I know, but maybe that's more of a reason for all of us to go out and live our lives the way we truly want to.
Maybe I'm too idealistic.
Whatever.

See you guys when I get back! <3333

neglect.

I've been neglecting this blogspot, but don't worry, due to current stress-ors I can blog all night and into the morning.

First, I love listening to Amy Winehouse. But only Back to Black, her other ep's I wasn't too fond of, Back to Black is SOOO genius. LOVES IT, way too much.

Secondly, I can not deal with all this pressure.
I can not deal with my parents trying to shove me out the door although I can barely make my $150 month car payments.
I can not deal with not having enough money to pay my NUMEROUS parking tickets.
I can not deal with not being able to pay for my Dominican Republic trip that I owe my mother for.
I can't pay my credit card bill which is only less than 100, but I still can't even scramble to find that much money.
I can't ask moms because a) she's cheap, and b) she's probably making less money than I am right now.
I can't pay my car bill because I have zero dollars in my wallet and I'm only working Saturday night this weekend, and Sunday morning, and I can't find any other shifts.

So a quick summary of that is, I can't afford the lifestyle I lead with semi-new clothes, a new car, and a tropical paradise type vacation (even if I'm paying less than 1/3 of the trip), and unless I start making 1,000 dollars a month, I also can't afford to move out.

I'd consider hanging myself in my bedroom right now, but I have one of those basement boxed ceilings which would just crumble under my weight, sooooo even that wouldn't work out for me.

WHERE IS MY FUCKING TAX CHECK!?!?!?

CAN I GET A FUCKING BREAK? SOMEWHERE?

ONE GOOD THING- I don't think I'm on academic suspension. I *fingers crossed* got a 2.0 this semester, so I'll be able to take classes next semester.

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"I don't understand,
why do I stress a man,
when there are so many weirder things at hand?
we could've never had it all,
we had to hit a wall,
so this is inevitable withdrawal.
even if I stop wanting you,
a perspective pushes through,
I'll be some next man's other woman soon."

I love A.W!!

typical.

I'm watching way too many cable reruns of Sex and the City and it really makes me want to be in a relationship so I can sleep with someone I'm comfortable with on a daily basis.
How hard is it to find someone?!

So I'm putting out a want-ad for such a person.
I think I'm onto something.

you know that i'm no good.

The Pros and Cons of Summer.

PROS.
1. Not having school, although, starting next summer, I'm not having any more seasonal breaks.
2. Trees are in full bloom. I like trees, what can I say?
3. Vacations, although I never really end up going anywhere. This summer is a different story though, THANK GOD.
4. Sleeping in and not feeling guilty for doing so.
5. Restaurants have outdoor seating, I love that.
6. Drinking in the afternoon. Doing it during the winter/fall just isn't that much fun.
7. BBQs. Kind of goes along with number 6, but not necessarily.
8. DRESSES. DUH.
9. Going out more.
10. Driving with the windows down. I love the wind.
11. Sidewalk chalk, enough said.
12. Not having to drive home drunk late at nights cause it's warm enough to walk home.
13. Dodgeball.
14. Getting drunk at the park. My fave pasttime.


CONS
1. SWEATING. ew, sweating. I don't think I hate anything more than sweating, it grosses me out, gives me the heebie jeebies, looking at sweaty people is gross. JDFAGKJGKLJ4OJT UGH.
2. 95+ weather. I don't enjoy heat stroke.
3. Bathing suits. FUCKING HATE bathing suits, I look like a beached whale, I don't want to be forced to go swimming at Amanda's pool cause everyone else is. I'm self conscious okay! jeezus.
4. Air conditioning. I actually don't really like it, but sometimes it's just too hot and you have to. I also hate the central air in my house because my basement is always freezing.
5. Not having school. I know, call me crazy, but I get bored sometimes.
6. Pollen, allergies, other lame shit like that.
7. Not being able to wear cute fall clothes/boots.
8. The rising price of gasoline during the summer months.
9. Summer thunderstorms can happen at any time and I don't like that. I don't enjoy leaving my house when it's raining, and in the summer- rain is just too spontaneous for me.
10. Goes along with number 9, frizzy hair, and then hearing people with pin straight hair bitch about having frizzy hair.


So with that said,
it's almost summer- yay!
My first finals start next Tuesday, and my last is the following Tuesday.
I have yet to tell my mother that I will not be taking summer classes because I'll probably be on academic suspension. Well, it's less like probably and more like definite.
Wish me luck!
Happy May Day!

articles.

http://news.aol.com/article/lottery-winner-charity/433871?icid=mainhp-laptopdl1link3http%3A%2F%2Fnews.aol.com%2Farticle%2Flottery-winner-charity%2F433871
A lottery winner who gave his winnings to charity.

People like that piss me off.
Cool, awesome, you donated to a charity and now I bet you feel like a better person.

But you're not, you're an ASSHOLE. You shouldn't play the lottery, you are taking away the odds of other people who actually want / need the money. You are a loser.

wolf in sheep's clothing

The title is the story of my life.
One day I plan on writing a story. That's my life goal. To write a story, a good one. I've written some before but, I want longer ones. Something that doesn't end at 20 pages. I feel like I have an idea for a story too. Hooray!

This is useless.
A WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING. That is me to a T.

I had some strange dreams the other night, and since I wake up numerous times during the night, I happen to remember a lot of them.

The one I most vividly remember:
Me and a few of my co-workers planned on going to Europe this summer (I've been really antsy about going to europe and i plan on going this summer no matter what). But anyways, so that's the plan and me and a few of my co-workers decide to go, but none of us have money so we take a "raft". This raft really ends up being a few pieces of wood hammered together. Somehow this makeshift raft actually makes us to a destination after about 30 days at sea. Once we get to the mainland everyone is speaking French. And since we planned on going to Europe, it would only make sense that we landed on the coast of France, but some how we realized that we weren't in France. I don't know how we realized that instead of travelling across the Atlantic Ocean, we had only travelled northbound, and we landed in Montreal, which, obviously, there's a French speaking majority. Basically my dream is unfulfilled and I'm miserable in the end because we only moved a few hundred miles northbound, when the whole plan was to make it to Europe.

I know that this dream has something to deal with the fact that

I NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE FOREVER.
OR AT LEAST
IF NOT FOREVER
JUST FOR A LITTLE WHILE
CAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE
SPENDING EVERY DAY IN THE SAME PLACE


FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.







With that said, if I can't find anyone to go to Barcelona with me this summer, I plan on staying at my family's house in Scotland for a few weeks cause I'M GOING CRAZY.
That's all I have to say.

Good night.

doctor!

THIS IS just tooo nuts. If I didn't post it it'd be an injustice to you all.
I don't have a chance to read it now, but the minute I get home from South Jersey, well, I will be.


http://news.aol.com/article/edge-of-space-found/423161?icid=mainhp-laptopdl1link3http%3A%2F%2Fnews.aol.com%2Farticle%2Fedge-of-space-found%2F423161

THE EDGE OF SPACE WAS FOUND! HOW CAN THAT BE?! I DON'T GET IT. WHAT'S BEYOND IT! I DO NOT UNDERSTAND! THIS IS CRAZY!
Read it, peace.

Topic of Conversation:

Boys.

Why;

Because they are scumbags. That's basically all there is to it.


People in general suck, but I'd rather not get into that tonight since I left work with 80 dollars after being there for so many hours because PEOPLE THINK 10 PERCENT TIPS ARE OKAY. DON'T FUCKING LEAVE YOUR HOUSE YOU CHEAP, TRASHY PIECES OF SHIT. I judge you, you are trashy, you make me want to throw up. I (and everyone else I work with) wish death upon your family and maybe, one day, if we're lucky, you WILL DIE (sooner than later obviously).
Now I have to drown my sorrows in food and binge eat a lot. THANKS, THANKS SO MUCH. DIE.




The End.

ceremony.

My posts are usually named after the songs I'm listening to.



I had a great night tonight. After we left the bar, I talked to Harold and met up with him, Don, and Doug, and it was nice seeing all of them, I've missed that whole clan so much, they're such a good, honest bunch.

It got me thinking of people in my life that are good and bad influences on me, and I don't mean in the way that, like, I do things with them that I shouldn't. But rather, I was thinking about certain people that bring me down, and other people that I'm happy to be around.
I feel like the past few weeks I've been happy with the people I've been spending time with.
I'm just so sick of people that bring me down.

EX: people that;
make me feel guilty, fakes, barnacles (aka. people that attach themselves to others), indecisive people that end up making you indecisive, negative people, hypocrites, people that are always willing to point out flaws in others but never flaws within themselves, are dependent on others, are unwilling to make themselves happy, those that don't live in the present but rather the past or future, and of course two-faced people.

Basically, I've been happy with the people I've been surrounding myself with lately. I never feel like I'm being brought down, and when people bring you down, well, that's one of the worst feelings.

Human behavior is funny.
Funny-weird, not funny-hilarious.

Keep it real.

dancing alone

Bizarre Love Triangle is the best song to dance to when you're alone in your bedroom.

Here's the music video , circa late 80s.
I hope you enjoy it / dance it it as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDD41R_5eR8

russian red

Okay, so as many of you know, I'm A HUGE FAN of deep red lipstick, and maybe two months ago I found the perfect red shade for me at mac.

And I was reading the stylelist today, and it was talking about red lips.

And MY PERFECT LIP GLASS (Russian Red) WAS MENTIONED! My favoritest red ever, DIRECTLY MENTIONED. I was so excited, I gasped, seriously. I'm a fucking loser, I know.

Here's the excerpt, unfortunately Serena Williams was wearing it.

"The New Red Lip
Tennis star Serena Williams proved to be quite the makeup diva as she made her rounds at various fashion shows. While she's been known to wear some spectacular eye makeup, the lip color she wore at the Calvin Klein runway show took my breath away. And I'm not the only one: Makeup artist Romy Soleimani tells me that watermelon red-which has a slightly pink undertone -is the It shade for next spring. Why wait till then to try this wearable, flattering shade? Here's a version I love: MAC Russian Red, $14 on MAC.com"


Even more of a reason for me to start wearing it all the time.
Get READY!

in the backseat

I got drunk last night and totally went on a rant and posted two blog entries.
I was fucked up!
The entries, of course, got deleted.

Nora almost blew up a backyard by accidentally lighting a gas can on fire.
It was hysterical.
I fell and my hand hurts.

I'm going back to sleep, I just had to delete those posts.
Good morning/night.