first entry: a 2005 diary excerpt.

the bold print is commentary in the present tense. the regular print is shit that i actually wrote. i was and still are incredibly lame.


november 16th, 2005
"to be written in the style of bridget jones"
(this is during my b.j. obsession, and please, no blow job references to that)

weight; unsure, approximately 122 (ugh). alcohol units: 0. cigarettes: 2. blunts/bongs/etc; 0. boyfriends; ZERO!!!
(i can't believe that 2 and a half years ago i was scoffing at being 122 lbs. IF ONLY I COULD BE THAT AGAIN).

... i'm on the search for my own personal Mark Darcy AND despite my newly single status, I already have to deal with love interests and the like. Well for one, before will remain nameless and I officially completely ended things, will remain nameless#2 and I hooked up. I slept over, you get my drift. NO FUNNY BUSINESS WENT ON, this is truth. Soon after I ended things with nameless #1, I realized how much I'd rather be single.
Then I almost talked to beautiful prominent nose boy (yes, this was a nickname for a crush of mine that i had away at school that i was too scared to talk to) the other night, but things were awkward. So I've officially had my first school girl crush since middle school. I can't even speak around this boy, I get so nervous. We should just both TALK!!!!!
Anyways, I've also got a little crush on nameless#3. We're hanging out together over Thanksgiving break, we'll see what happens there.
(some more stuff about nameless#2 and then..) Also, forgot to mention, I hooked up with some asshole here who thinks he's hot shit. Waste of time.
It feels like sophomore year again. I love being a singleton and thoroughly love all my interests.
I hope things work out with beautiful boy here though. I need a picture of him. I haven't seen him today :(. I'm in love!!
(about april/may my crush and i finally talked despite months of exchanged glances whilst on campus, which was the most awkward moment of my life. neither of us could say anything, and we were totally acting like little children with crushes on strangers. i don't remember much about it, except exchanging names and my stomach flip flopping)

That was me inviting you all into the brain of my 19 year old self. I hope you found it as interesting/naive/stupid as I did.
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