Legs, a photo gallery of jealousy.

I have terrible, short legs. The only brand that can exactly fit my leg length is Express' short hem.
I'm RIDICULOUSLY obsessed with long legs. I can't even kill daddy long legs'. It has to be envy. I always want what I can't, don't have.

Here are some pictures for you to ogle and drool over.

P.S. I saved the Liv Tyler picture for last. Of all the pictures I came across, it was definately my favorite. I think anyone else that checks this out will agree.

"glass half full shit."

I'm re-watching Garden State for the first time in about 4 years. Part of the reason I disliked it the first time around was because of Natalie Portman's character. The second part of that reason, was because someone once compared me to her character. I've always disliked her part in the movie, but I guess now after watching it a few times, she is a likable person, with a good heart, so how can you really go wrong? I guess it was her optimism that I was opposed to. Since I'm a negative Nancy. But now that I'm older, and more mature, I'm understanding the appeal to her. She's so kindhearted, sincere.
After all, this is a movie about my home state, I'm supposed to like it. And as unreal as it may seem, the movie does represent the Garden State almost one hundred percent. This shit was my high school, college years, current. Zack Braff, he did graduate from one of the Oranges with Lauryn Hill.. Supposedly..
"I realize how silly it is to take anything too seriously."
Maybe a few years too late I've felt that I should take this advice to heart.
I feel like I fully comprehend the meaning of that statement (in the present), and excuse the melancholy, but as a teenager, I was a miserable brat. But.. now, that sentence seems very close to my heart.

articles.

Hate Crimes Spike: Religion, Race, Sexual Orientation Are Main Targets -- Politics Daily
Seriously? This is depressing.

Why loneliness can be contagious.


Cops save swimming deer!
How adorable!

Hearing through skin.

I wish I had the balls to wear the gigantic faux fur vests

sweeeeeeeet jane

i do like fall weather.
crisp air and chills.
reminds me of being little.
it feels like now that i'm getting older, i barely recognize the seasons. they all just blend into each other and none of them have their specific traits anymore. i've only really felt autumn about three days this fall. it's a distinct sense. once again, crisp air, chills, warm earthy colors, sweaters, boots, walking home from school.
i don't feel that anymore.
everythings just kind of the same.
sometimes though, one day stands out more than the other and i'll get all nostalgic and feel warm and cuddly inside.
i love days like those.
especially once winter comes.
i love colder weather. :)
smiles everywhere!
i'm saving up my money to run away from home again, just this time i'm not sure where, but i'm thinking that i might cross some seas and/or continents to find a new favorite place.
i'm
excited
for something
new!

speaking of places to run away to..

here are some people that i haven't seen in months because they live so far away, people that i miss very much..

For what it's worth..

I swear to god, if I ever get another late night text message from a boy, any boy, I will lose my head. How stupid do I look?
THERE IS ONLY ONE REASON FOR A LATE NIGHT PHONE CALL.
Well, wait, unless you're out and hanging with friends and you're waiting for someone else to come and meet up..
but besides that..
THERE'S ONLY ONE REASON.
And no, I won't go over to your house, and you can't come to mine.
JEEZUS.

So with that said, maybe I'll ignore the text and hope the person gets the hint, instead of just bitching about it on my blog. Maybe.

dear hannah

I will eventually get to the posting about how I'm supposed to invite you all into my life.


The other night (last night), some of the key themes of my dream was:
kidnapping, escaping, babies, safety, stolen vehicles, daytime.

Right now, I have to copy and paste some interpretations of these parts of my dream,

Kidnapping = "To dream that you are being kidnapped, denotes feelings of being trapped and restricted. Someone or some situation may be diverting your concentration and your attention away from your goals. "

Escaping = "To dream that you escape from jail or some place of confinement, signifies your need to escape from a restrictive situation or attitude. Alternatively, it suggests that you are refusing to face your problems. You are avoiding the situation, instead of confronting them"

Babies = "To dream that you are babysitting, suggests that you need to care for the child within yourself."

Safety= "To dream that you have a sense of security, suggests that you may be experiencing much insecurity in your waking life. The dream is compensating for your lack of security. You need to feel well-protected, both physically and emotionally. "

Stolen cars = "To dream that you car has been stolen, indicates that you are being stripped of your identity. This may relate to losing your job, a failed relationship, or some situation which has played a significant role in your identity and who you are as a person"
"To dream that you are riding in an automobile, signifies that even in pleasant situations, you will still be restless and uneasy"

Daytime = "To dream of the afternoon time, suggest that it is time to put your energies to good use. Draw and learn from your past experiences and lessons. Alternatively, it symbolizes clarity to a situation."



Basically,
what all this means is,
I'm an insecure basket case that's unable to confront her fears/problems.
Although, the daytime totally throws off the whole thing.
Maybe there is hope for me yet.

samantha supertramp.

My dreams are trying to tell me something.
The main theme they've all shared;
helplessness.

So positive.
I guess I'm just a lost cause.



P.S. Very sick of these "The Ugly Truth" ads on facebook. I hate Katherine Heigl. I really want to banish her to an island inhabited only with Komodo Dragons.

plane crashes

I had a dream the other night about myself being in a plane crash.
I woke up gasping right before the plane would've "crashed."
This got me thinking.
I've never died in a dream.
And I wonder if anyone else has, if you're reading this, and you have, let me know. Explain the situation, too.
Like I'm pretty sure I've been dead in a dream, but I'm not sure if I've ever experience the act of dying.
I wonder why though. Like, is there a dream heaven? And if so, does that mean there's a real "heaven"? It got me thinking, cause dreams are so other worldly.
So if you can die in a dream and transcend to dream heaven, would that then mean that there's a real heaven?
I'm definately looking way too far into this, but it's a legit question.
Maybe that's why I can never die in my dreams, cause then I'll know the whole mystery of death.
Why else can't I die in my dreams?

tropical islands

Tomorrow I leave for the Dominican Republic.

I haven't been on a plane since Cancun (circa 2002). I'm a little nervous. That's the last time I was invited on a family vacation. BASTARDS.
I have an uneasy feeling. I think I'm going to be eaten by a shark. I know, I'm crazy. And I also know, that although I've had many summers at the Jersey Shore, I've never feared sharks before (despite the well-publicized shark attacks that happened during the 40's. Yeah, I want to say that's the decade.)
All I've been thinking about is how I'm either going to die in a plane crash or get eaten by a shark. I remember the first time I was on a plane, when I was 7, I had a horrible ear-ache during landing. I can remember myself screaming in pain, and I was a pretty quiet and reserved child. At least alone I was. Now at 22, if I were to see a child like that, screaming on a landing, I'd probably slap it. I never realized until recently how much I hate children.
I hate how my brother's 10 year old friends come to my house, raid my fridge, drop popcorn all over the floor, and think how it'd be such a smarter idea to eat it up off the ground instead of asking for help to clean it up.
I FUCKING HATE CHILDREN. OMG.
Thank GOD I'LL be away from little runts for at least a few days.

Speaking of death (via shark/plane), me and the bitches were talking today about how we'd like to die. And honestly, if I had to choose between dying spontaneous versus being ill for a long time and eventually dying of some horrible disease, well, I'd choose spontaneous death. And I know that sounds like an obvious choice for anyone. But let's say on the way home from my trip to D.R., my plane crashes. Well, in a way, I'd be happier with that ending, than dying of cancer 40 years from now.
When I die, I don't want to know that it's happening. I don't want to be like the people in my family who struggle for months trying to beat a disease, only to lose. I'd so much rather die without being able to think about it. I don't want to think of my death. I don't want to be bed-ridden for months thinking about when my time will come and what will happen to me after that time comes. Cause, to be honest, I don't think anything happens when you die. I think that you die and that's all there is, and that's actually quite miserable.
I know you're supposed to make the most of the time you have on earth or whatever, but it's depressing to think that I'll die and all I'll have after my death are the memories that other people will have of me. That's what I think happens. When we die, that's it. That's our life. Do we remember what happens before we are born? No, because we don't exist. And will we remember what happens to us after we die? No, because we don't exist.
It's sad, I know, but maybe that's more of a reason for all of us to go out and live our lives the way we truly want to.
Maybe I'm too idealistic.
Whatever.

See you guys when I get back! <3333

neglect.

I've been neglecting this blogspot, but don't worry, due to current stress-ors I can blog all night and into the morning.

First, I love listening to Amy Winehouse. But only Back to Black, her other ep's I wasn't too fond of, Back to Black is SOOO genius. LOVES IT, way too much.

Secondly, I can not deal with all this pressure.
I can not deal with my parents trying to shove me out the door although I can barely make my $150 month car payments.
I can not deal with not having enough money to pay my NUMEROUS parking tickets.
I can not deal with not being able to pay for my Dominican Republic trip that I owe my mother for.
I can't pay my credit card bill which is only less than 100, but I still can't even scramble to find that much money.
I can't ask moms because a) she's cheap, and b) she's probably making less money than I am right now.
I can't pay my car bill because I have zero dollars in my wallet and I'm only working Saturday night this weekend, and Sunday morning, and I can't find any other shifts.

So a quick summary of that is, I can't afford the lifestyle I lead with semi-new clothes, a new car, and a tropical paradise type vacation (even if I'm paying less than 1/3 of the trip), and unless I start making 1,000 dollars a month, I also can't afford to move out.

I'd consider hanging myself in my bedroom right now, but I have one of those basement boxed ceilings which would just crumble under my weight, sooooo even that wouldn't work out for me.

WHERE IS MY FUCKING TAX CHECK!?!?!?

CAN I GET A FUCKING BREAK? SOMEWHERE?

ONE GOOD THING- I don't think I'm on academic suspension. I *fingers crossed* got a 2.0 this semester, so I'll be able to take classes next semester.

dkljfagfkljq32tp
asdlyj09234ujytpiojqh
qhjkqw4tjhio5wi6o356pipo35i6upoi356iu356pouo4kjyuj4yu



"I don't understand,
why do I stress a man,
when there are so many weirder things at hand?
we could've never had it all,
we had to hit a wall,
so this is inevitable withdrawal.
even if I stop wanting you,
a perspective pushes through,
I'll be some next man's other woman soon."

I love A.W!!

typical.

I'm watching way too many cable reruns of Sex and the City and it really makes me want to be in a relationship so I can sleep with someone I'm comfortable with on a daily basis.
How hard is it to find someone?!

So I'm putting out a want-ad for such a person.
I think I'm onto something.

you know that i'm no good.

The Pros and Cons of Summer.

PROS.
1. Not having school, although, starting next summer, I'm not having any more seasonal breaks.
2. Trees are in full bloom. I like trees, what can I say?
3. Vacations, although I never really end up going anywhere. This summer is a different story though, THANK GOD.
4. Sleeping in and not feeling guilty for doing so.
5. Restaurants have outdoor seating, I love that.
6. Drinking in the afternoon. Doing it during the winter/fall just isn't that much fun.
7. BBQs. Kind of goes along with number 6, but not necessarily.
8. DRESSES. DUH.
9. Going out more.
10. Driving with the windows down. I love the wind.
11. Sidewalk chalk, enough said.
12. Not having to drive home drunk late at nights cause it's warm enough to walk home.
13. Dodgeball.
14. Getting drunk at the park. My fave pasttime.


CONS
1. SWEATING. ew, sweating. I don't think I hate anything more than sweating, it grosses me out, gives me the heebie jeebies, looking at sweaty people is gross. JDFAGKJGKLJ4OJT UGH.
2. 95+ weather. I don't enjoy heat stroke.
3. Bathing suits. FUCKING HATE bathing suits, I look like a beached whale, I don't want to be forced to go swimming at Amanda's pool cause everyone else is. I'm self conscious okay! jeezus.
4. Air conditioning. I actually don't really like it, but sometimes it's just too hot and you have to. I also hate the central air in my house because my basement is always freezing.
5. Not having school. I know, call me crazy, but I get bored sometimes.
6. Pollen, allergies, other lame shit like that.
7. Not being able to wear cute fall clothes/boots.
8. The rising price of gasoline during the summer months.
9. Summer thunderstorms can happen at any time and I don't like that. I don't enjoy leaving my house when it's raining, and in the summer- rain is just too spontaneous for me.
10. Goes along with number 9, frizzy hair, and then hearing people with pin straight hair bitch about having frizzy hair.


So with that said,
it's almost summer- yay!
My first finals start next Tuesday, and my last is the following Tuesday.
I have yet to tell my mother that I will not be taking summer classes because I'll probably be on academic suspension. Well, it's less like probably and more like definite.
Wish me luck!
Happy May Day!

articles.

http://news.aol.com/article/lottery-winner-charity/433871?icid=mainhp-laptopdl1link3http%3A%2F%2Fnews.aol.com%2Farticle%2Flottery-winner-charity%2F433871
A lottery winner who gave his winnings to charity.

People like that piss me off.
Cool, awesome, you donated to a charity and now I bet you feel like a better person.

But you're not, you're an ASSHOLE. You shouldn't play the lottery, you are taking away the odds of other people who actually want / need the money. You are a loser.

wolf in sheep's clothing

The title is the story of my life.
One day I plan on writing a story. That's my life goal. To write a story, a good one. I've written some before but, I want longer ones. Something that doesn't end at 20 pages. I feel like I have an idea for a story too. Hooray!

This is useless.
A WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING. That is me to a T.

I had some strange dreams the other night, and since I wake up numerous times during the night, I happen to remember a lot of them.

The one I most vividly remember:
Me and a few of my co-workers planned on going to Europe this summer (I've been really antsy about going to europe and i plan on going this summer no matter what). But anyways, so that's the plan and me and a few of my co-workers decide to go, but none of us have money so we take a "raft". This raft really ends up being a few pieces of wood hammered together. Somehow this makeshift raft actually makes us to a destination after about 30 days at sea. Once we get to the mainland everyone is speaking French. And since we planned on going to Europe, it would only make sense that we landed on the coast of France, but some how we realized that we weren't in France. I don't know how we realized that instead of travelling across the Atlantic Ocean, we had only travelled northbound, and we landed in Montreal, which, obviously, there's a French speaking majority. Basically my dream is unfulfilled and I'm miserable in the end because we only moved a few hundred miles northbound, when the whole plan was to make it to Europe.

I know that this dream has something to deal with the fact that

I NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE FOREVER.
OR AT LEAST
IF NOT FOREVER
JUST FOR A LITTLE WHILE
CAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE
SPENDING EVERY DAY IN THE SAME PLACE


FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.







With that said, if I can't find anyone to go to Barcelona with me this summer, I plan on staying at my family's house in Scotland for a few weeks cause I'M GOING CRAZY.
That's all I have to say.

Good night.

doctor!

THIS IS just tooo nuts. If I didn't post it it'd be an injustice to you all.
I don't have a chance to read it now, but the minute I get home from South Jersey, well, I will be.


http://news.aol.com/article/edge-of-space-found/423161?icid=mainhp-laptopdl1link3http%3A%2F%2Fnews.aol.com%2Farticle%2Fedge-of-space-found%2F423161

THE EDGE OF SPACE WAS FOUND! HOW CAN THAT BE?! I DON'T GET IT. WHAT'S BEYOND IT! I DO NOT UNDERSTAND! THIS IS CRAZY!
Read it, peace.

Topic of Conversation:

Boys.

Why;

Because they are scumbags. That's basically all there is to it.


People in general suck, but I'd rather not get into that tonight since I left work with 80 dollars after being there for so many hours because PEOPLE THINK 10 PERCENT TIPS ARE OKAY. DON'T FUCKING LEAVE YOUR HOUSE YOU CHEAP, TRASHY PIECES OF SHIT. I judge you, you are trashy, you make me want to throw up. I (and everyone else I work with) wish death upon your family and maybe, one day, if we're lucky, you WILL DIE (sooner than later obviously).
Now I have to drown my sorrows in food and binge eat a lot. THANKS, THANKS SO MUCH. DIE.




The End.

ceremony.

My posts are usually named after the songs I'm listening to.



I had a great night tonight. After we left the bar, I talked to Harold and met up with him, Don, and Doug, and it was nice seeing all of them, I've missed that whole clan so much, they're such a good, honest bunch.

It got me thinking of people in my life that are good and bad influences on me, and I don't mean in the way that, like, I do things with them that I shouldn't. But rather, I was thinking about certain people that bring me down, and other people that I'm happy to be around.
I feel like the past few weeks I've been happy with the people I've been spending time with.
I'm just so sick of people that bring me down.

EX: people that;
make me feel guilty, fakes, barnacles (aka. people that attach themselves to others), indecisive people that end up making you indecisive, negative people, hypocrites, people that are always willing to point out flaws in others but never flaws within themselves, are dependent on others, are unwilling to make themselves happy, those that don't live in the present but rather the past or future, and of course two-faced people.

Basically, I've been happy with the people I've been surrounding myself with lately. I never feel like I'm being brought down, and when people bring you down, well, that's one of the worst feelings.

Human behavior is funny.
Funny-weird, not funny-hilarious.

Keep it real.

dancing alone

Bizarre Love Triangle is the best song to dance to when you're alone in your bedroom.

Here's the music video , circa late 80s.
I hope you enjoy it / dance it it as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDD41R_5eR8

russian red

Okay, so as many of you know, I'm A HUGE FAN of deep red lipstick, and maybe two months ago I found the perfect red shade for me at mac.

And I was reading the stylelist today, and it was talking about red lips.

And MY PERFECT LIP GLASS (Russian Red) WAS MENTIONED! My favoritest red ever, DIRECTLY MENTIONED. I was so excited, I gasped, seriously. I'm a fucking loser, I know.

Here's the excerpt, unfortunately Serena Williams was wearing it.

"The New Red Lip
Tennis star Serena Williams proved to be quite the makeup diva as she made her rounds at various fashion shows. While she's been known to wear some spectacular eye makeup, the lip color she wore at the Calvin Klein runway show took my breath away. And I'm not the only one: Makeup artist Romy Soleimani tells me that watermelon red-which has a slightly pink undertone -is the It shade for next spring. Why wait till then to try this wearable, flattering shade? Here's a version I love: MAC Russian Red, $14 on MAC.com"


Even more of a reason for me to start wearing it all the time.
Get READY!

in the backseat

I got drunk last night and totally went on a rant and posted two blog entries.
I was fucked up!
The entries, of course, got deleted.

Nora almost blew up a backyard by accidentally lighting a gas can on fire.
It was hysterical.
I fell and my hand hurts.

I'm going back to sleep, I just had to delete those posts.
Good morning/night.

disproving the misconceptions

So I was looking up fun cities in the good ole U S of A to visit during the summer (because I really want to go away somewhere for like a month, at least an extended stay), and somehow I got side tracked by these lists...


I always say that New Jersey is totally underrated, and most people think it's a giant slum, but as I know for fact, and as these lists prove, they are all wrong.
After all, the typical NJ stereotype is that of the "Jersey Shore D-Bag", and well after all, aren't they (in some circles) well dressed, well groomed, well tanned, well muscled men with expensive shore houses and expensive cars? And although I know money isn't all that matters, it sure does matter a lot in our culture.

so, as I already know, we own connecticut, not always, but at least we never leave the top 2.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/States_of_the_United_States_of_America_by_income

once again, we own connecticut.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highest-income_counties_in_the_United_States

BIG SHOUT OUT TO BERGEN COUNTY! LOLZ.





Anyways, I'm bored.
You people better give me some good ideas on places to visit during the summer. I need a good get away!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

at my window, sad and lonely

It's 10 am and I've been up since my mom frantically woke me up at 730.
I woke up to my Louis (my dog) seizuring beside his dog dish, my mom screaming, and myself totally confused. He was foaming at the mouth, laying on his side running like 1000 miles an hour, completely incoherent, wasn't responsive at all. he peed and vomitted everywhere, it was really bad.
I thought maybe holding his head up would help, you know, when people have seizures you're not supposed to let them lie on their backs in case they swallow their tongue or some shit, so I held the giant in my lap, and was petting him, and he started to calm down. Right about when he was starting to be responsive and starting to look around, he looked right up at me and started growling.
Now , okay I'm under him, holding him against me, and my dog is a BIG dog, and he NEVER growls, he has the best temperament of any animal I've ever seen.
He's a golden retriever for christ's sake.
And I've never been so scared of my dog, I had to back away from him, and he just started barking at all of us.
It was totally like the scene in Old Yeller where the dog goes crazy and the family just had to kill it.
We had to lock ourselves in our rooms til my dad got home, we eventually had to call animal control cause he was freaking out and scared of all of us, and was just ready to attack at any moment.
Animal control eventually came, and he was doing better, he finally seemed to recognize us. I'm still just completely scared for him, for everything, it's been hell. My nerves are shot. He's at the vet now, getting tests done, and I just hope that they'll be able to find out what caused it so it'll never happen again, cause this is too traumatic to happen again. Honestly, it was so fucking scary, I'm still shaking and this happened hours ago.
I don't know what to do about my dog, I feel like I'm going to be afraid of him now and I don't want to be cause he's like this stupid, gentle giant. He's the goofiest bastard on the planet, and ugh, sorry, I'm getting upset again. I'll leave you all with some pictures of my Louis.













he doesn't like camera flashes hahaha














he is a lazy bum.
















he likes chewing my brother's smelly shoes.

louis smiling, his eyes look creepy as hell though.

i dream of....

being here.





































































<----Just knowing that this place exists,


makes my life that much better.

hmm..

bored and can't fall asleep.

guess what i'm watching!

<--- hint.

my thoughts on the "best 90's movies"

http://www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/2009/01/19/best-90s-movies/

this is the list.

these are my issues.





40. Speed. I can deal with that. Keanu Reeves break out role. A little too cheesy, but I'll still watch it if it comes on tv.

36. Swingers. I haven't seen this, basically what I'm trying to say is that I have to.

35. Philadelphia. Makes me cry like a baby every time. Tried to get my bitch sister to watch it with me once, but the soulless human that she is doesn't like it.

34. Clueless. OMG loves it. When I was young I couldn't wait to wear plaid skirts and knee highs in high school, but by that time the trend kindaaa faded.

32. Rushmore. Yup, another one I still haven't seen. Fuck me.

30. The Fugitive. IT was the guy without the leg! Or the arm! or the hand? something.

29. The Usual Suspects. I have a weiiird crush on Gabriel Byrne. I think that's why I like In Treatment so much.

28. Jerry Maguire. Best movie for cheesy over-the-top quotes.

26. Dazed and Confused. One movie that I introduced my sister to that she actually likes. Teenage classic! I watch this movie whenever I feel like I'm heading nowhere. It let's me know that other people don't have lives or responsibilities either, but then again, I'm not a teenager anymore.

22. Boyz in the Hood. Haven't seen it. Another one to add to the list.

21. Office Space. yay! Totally the inspiration for The Office. Totally loved it when it came out and I'd watch it on HBO before HBO left cable.

17. American Beauty. One of my top 10 favorite movies of all time. I love Annette Bening/Kevin Spacey in it. Thora Birch annoys me a pinch though. But I was probably like that at her age too.

16. Trainspotting. Nice choice.

14. Terminator 2. BIG SHOUT OUT TO JOHN CONNOR. lols

13. The Sixth Sense. I love Toni Collette. I didn't think this movie was scary despite that the studio tried to market it as such. If anything, I cried for days.

11. Titanic. SO OVERRATED! If Nora ever reads this, she will kill me.

10. The Matrix. This movie is just so hot. Literally it's hot. I want to BE these people.

8. Groundhog Day. I FUCKING HATED THIS MOVIE WHEN I WAS A KID. I never finished it because I couldn't watch anymore than the first 30 minutes.

7. Shawshank Redemption. Once while playing hang man, I guessed this movie without any hints. What other movie title has two words that are both that long? Oh, sidenote, everyone loves Morgan Freeman.

6. LA Confidential. There have been a lot of movies made about crooked LA cops. Another reason why East Coast OWNS West Coast.

5. Silence of the Lambs. I get angry when I hear that people haven't seen this movie, I really do. The end scene with Jodie Foster in the dark will still make me nervous no matter how many times I'll see it.

1. Goodfellas. Not big on mafia movies, but I did like The Godfather so I probably should get around to seeing this classic piece too.

articles of the day.

http://news.aol.com/article/dolphin-bubble-rings/386019
cute little dolphins, they so smart.




http://shopping.aol.com/articles/2009/03/10/cheap-canon/?ncid=AOLCOMMshopDYNLsec0001
these cameras still aren't cheap enough for me to afford.


http://www.engadget.com/2009/03/17/worlds-most-expensive-vacuum-also-claims-title-of-worlds-gaudi/
this is a monstrosity. i'd like to know who would actually buy this. seriously, i'd like to know them.

http://news.aol.com/article/sharks-near-swimmers-in-australia/385621
"Race winner Chris Allan did see authorities put up a shark signal as he was swimming, but he seemed to take it in stride."
what a bad ass.
in june i'm going to D.R. and my recent fear of sharks might just keep me from going in the water completely.

http://news.aol.com/article/pope-condoms-aids/384211
some more abstinence propaganda bullshit.

http://www.aolhealth.com/condition-center/mental-health/why-people-commit-murder
The article's headline was "what drives people to kill their families"
how could I not read this?
In 2005 more people died from suicide than from homicide.

http://www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/2009/03/09/best-80s-movies/
"best 80s movies"

I have some problems with this...
Ghostbusters is ONLY #40, this shit was my childhood.
Do The Right Thing is ONLY 33.
sex, lies and videotape is ONLY 32. how?! I love James Spader in his younger days.
Die Hard is before ALL of those movies (i've never seen it, so i guess in a way i shouldn't judge it)
My Left Foot is 16- what the hell. I love Daniel Day Lewis and all, but seriously.
THE Terminator is 13 and THE SHINING is 14- how could this be possible? what assholes made this list. That is an outrage.

But, I am happy that....
Ordinary People made 30, just saw it recently for the first time, fell in love with Timothy Hutton. If you haven't seen it, you definately should get around to doing so.
When Harry Met Sally made 12, my romantic comedy must. I dont know what I love more, this or Bridget.
The Empire Strikes Back made 4

Is Blade Runner really that good that it made 2? I like sci-fi so I guess I should see it soon.

With all this said, I still have not seen Full Metal Jacket or Blue Velvet. I know, they're basically classics.

I don't want to bother you all with the "best movies of the 90's" tonight, so I'll post my feelings on that tomorrow.

nosferatu and other fair skinned friends.

Tonight was my first viewing of the vampire classic, Nosferatu. Throughout my childhood I thought it was pronounced Nos-ter-afu, sometimes I feel a little dyslexic. I feel like, for the most part, I can't really get into silent movies. Silent movies feel a little slow to me, not as suspenseful as "talkies". I liked the movie though, Nosferatu's looks gave me the chills. He's probably the eeriest vampire I've watched on screen. But then again, most other vampires I've watched are incredibly good looking (ie; Robert Pattinson<3, Brad Pitt, Bill Compton in True Blood, Stuart Townsend, and Aaliyah. I'm not including Tom Cruise cause I think he's ugly.)

And watching this movie made me realize that I have an unhealthy obsession with vampires. For some people, their paranormal obsessions are ghosts. I know Nora loves watching ghost stories on tv and shit like that. My thing is vampires. I don't know why. Maybe it's the whole dead yet undead thing. Or maybe cause all vampires (except Nosferatu) are portrayed as beautiful, charming, and wealthy intellectuals with a bad side.

If I could go to Transylvania, I so would. I watched Anthony Bourdain's episode when they went to Count Dracula's supposed castle. I don't think I blinked my eyes once during the entire episode.
Summary;
I love villians. Even more so, I love villians that are a package deal (smart, charming, undead, lanky, beautiful, etcccc).
Conclusion;
I wish I could find myself a nice vampire boy.



I'm going to go watch Mystic Pizza now. I used to love going to Mystic with my family. It's such a pretty little town. And I've been to the actual pizza place, BE jealous.

Good night all.

everything counts

depeche mode.
august.
madison square garden.


i'm there.

it's been one hell of a wild weekend. in two days i've had 7 hours of sleep.
loves it.
aimee's in cancun, and she was almost late for her flight last night because we were lost in bay ridge, brooklyn for an hour. i hate the bqe.
upset i didn't see a-trak tonight, but... there will be other nights.
love you all dearly.

espana (no swivel mark above the n, my computer doesn't do that)

so british airways is having this crazy one week sale, 150 (not including taxes + miscellaneous fees) one way trips to europe. of course, i'm trying to take full advantage of this, but of course there are road blocks.
1. this is a one week sale. trip must be booked by FRIDAY. yes, two days from now.
2. on such short notice, it's difficult for people to scramble some money together.
3. we all have to book the flights on different credit cards.
4. the trip is may 13th, i have to see if i have any finals.
5. i'm not good at planning shit and it kinda seems like i'm the ringmaster of all this.

much stress, but i really hope this all works out. just thinking of barcelona makes me want to cry. i think if this actually gets booked, i will cry. and if it doesn't, i will cry as well. although, i've been particularly sensative and neurotic this week, so i don't think i can blame my future tears on this trip specifically.

this weather's been making me under the weather as well.
when's it going to be nice out?
i'm not asking for a lot. just 50 degrees and sunshine. none of this cloudy, chilly bullshit.
my room is a mess. i have water bottles piling alongside my desk, old dryer sheets all over my floor, towels, clothes, shoes, scratch off's (lolz). i've been such a drag recently. ughh.

i'm too lazy to send links to what i've been reading today or this week, but you should educate yourselves with some perez hilton later when you get the chance. very intelligent reading.

i have nothing of importance to say, but then again, i never do.
good night. happy spring break y'all

PSA.

I'm at home.
It's 458 am.
I'm not drunk enough to fall asleep.
I'm bored out of my mind.
Where are the percocets?
Text me if you find Waldo!

articles of the day.

http://www.asylum.com/2009/02/17/men-view-bikini-clad-women-as-objects-literally/
add another reason to why i'm not going to be wearing a two piece swimsuit this summer.

http://realestate.aol.com/pictures/finance/fastest-growing-states?ncid=AOLCOMMre00DYNLsec0002
i'm the only asshole who thinks population growth is cool.

http://www.asylum.com/2009/02/13/caught-in-the-headlights-guys-busted-ogling-busts/
hahah. best quote "it's like blinking."

http://www.aolhealth.com/health/winter-health/cold-never-blow-nose
"ew gross, boogers, disgusting."
NOT!
super cool, i love boogers.

http://finance.yahoo.com/tech-ticker/article/176478/%22Worst-Is-Yet-to-Come%22-Americans%27-Standard-of-Living-Permanently-Changed?tickers=WMT,WFMI,FDO,%5EGSPC,%5EDJI,RTH
i never want to get a real job or move out of my parents house. if i do, i guarantee i will be homeless in the future. this article just made me feel more strongly about that.

http://www.good.is/?p=15549&GT1=48001
what are you actually supposed to call the "person you're kind of seeing" ? i'm just as lost as they are.

http://astrocenter.astrology.msn.com/msn/DeptHoroscope.aspx?UMWhen=0&Sign=6&Af=-1000#unpers_UM_tag
horoscopes yay!



i'm bored now. going to read my favorite blog before falling asleep now... you should too!~!
http://sorry-mom.com/page/1

PLEASE DONATE

to this VERY worthy cause.


i want/need this swimsuit. i'm not allowed to wear two pieces since i have a serious beer gut growing, soo i need a one piece and this is possibly the most beautiful and classiest swimsuit i've ever seen.
check it out.

http://www.neimanmarcus.com/store/catalog/prod.jhtml?itemId=prod76640046&parentId=cat9280751&masterId=cat9280747&index=10&cmCat=cat000000cat000001cat17740747cat20230754cat9280747cat9280751


GIVE ME MONEY.

15 albums list

Think of 15 albums that had such a profound effect on you they changed your life or the way you looked at it. They sucked you in and took you over for days, weeks, months, years. These are the albums that you can use to identify time, places, people, emotions. These are the albums that no matter what they were thought of musically shaped your world. When you finish, tag 15 others, including me. Make sure you copy and paste this part so they know the drill. Get the idea now? Good. Tag, you're it!


~ = approximations

1. The Supremes; Greatest Hits. childhood.
2. Fleetwood Mac; Rumours. childhood.
3. No Doubt; Tragic Kingdom.<333>
4. when I was in 8th grade I listened to Alice in Chains, alright, get over it. next!
5. The Get Up Kids; Something to Write Home About. 9th grade.
6. my first cassette ever, Green Day; Dookie. 2nd grade, I remember my mom flipping out on my dad for letting me get it and saying that it was music that my cousin listened to. as if that should be enough of a reason.
7. Sunny Day Real Estate; Diary. 10th grade. I'd listen to this every day on my WALKMAN haha.
8. Interpol; Turn on the Bright Lights.
9. Nirvana; Nevermind. ~10. my aunt listened to them, so i listened to them. possibly the only band that I've continuously liked all these years.
10. The Go-Gos; two disc cd that I got for my 14th birthday. I wanted to BE them.
11. TLC; crazysexycool. I can't remember what age, maybe 3rd or 4th grade. Every girl I know had this cd, and loved it, and still swears by it.
12. The Arcade Fire; Funeral.

hmm..........

13. The Who; Tommy. 9th grade when I smoked lots of pot. Thank you James.
14. Broken Social Scene; You Forgot it in People. 11th grade.
15. NSync; No Strings Attached.

That took a little more brain power than I thought it would.

wa wa we wah.

MY SUPER, AMAZING, EXTRAORDINARY, 25 DOLLAR, 4 FLUID OUNCES, BRANDY NEW ANTI-FRIZZ BREAKTHROUGH TECHNOLOGY JUST CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY, it's called living proof or some shit like that.
Sadly enough, I was incredibly excited for it. Frizzy hair is the biggest pain in the ass, and now I won't have to blow dry and straighten my hair every day. I'll be saving electricity and my hair follicles at the same time! So far it's worked. Honestly, everyone that suffers from frizz should probably buy it. MIT scientists made it. True story.

I just finished watching Gran Torino and Tropic Thunder. Wow, I love Robert Downey Jr. Seriously, he is one sexy bitch. I ENVY his wife. I'm going to wear a skinsuit made out of her dead body and trick him into thinking I'm her. hahah just kidding guys! hahahah. oh man, I'm out of my mind.

As predicted, Valentine's Day was spent alone. In a way.
I worked from 1130 am to about 12am, a nice 12 hour shift and DEFINATELY did NOT make the type of money I should have. Although, everyone had big plans to go out and be loser girls without boyfriends and make out with as many strangers as we could find, no one really did anything, and I ended up going home, changing into my pajamas, and passing out immediately. I guess it wasn't that bad of a Valentine's Day, considering I didn't get a chance to think about how pathetically alone I really am.
Now, in the spirit of the miserable, soul-less, anti-idealist bitch that I am, I'm going to read some "I bang the worst dudes" and laugh at others misfortunes while secretly crying on the inside because I deserve to be on that website.

peace out. P-I-E-C-E.

today's reading.

Since aol lures me into reading the news every day, I'm going to make you people read the same articles that I am. Also, so you guys don't think I'm more crazy than I already am for knowing way too much about too many useless things.


http://news.aol.com/health/article/octuplet-mom-angelina-jolie/340980
octuplet's mom and the angelina resemblance.
creepy.

http://information.travel.aol.com/article/family-travel/_a/leaving-it-all-behind-a-life-lesson-of/20080917123909990001?ncid=AOLCOMMtravdynlprim0454
world's cutest family. dropped everything and ran off to see the world together, so cute.

http://news.aol.com/article/rodents-peanut-recall/341823
dead rodents, rodent feces, and bird feathers = the reason for the peanut butter recall

http://shopping.aol.com/valentines-day-gifts?ncid=AOLCOMMshopDYNLprim0001
what each rose color means... scandalous.

http://news.aol.com/article/boy-charged-with-killing-dad-offered/271672
nine year old kills his dad. reason #1 why you shouldn't beat your children if you "bear arms".

http://news.aol.com/article/new-york-plane-crash/342026
what's with planes crashing in the tri-state?

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2233878.ece
the scariest article of today.
the 13 year old baby daddy.

http://edition.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/02/13/stimulus/index.html?iref=topnews
something probably a little more important than the other articles; house passes the stimulus bill.





happy readings!

harvest moon

that's my wedding song, if i ever get married, and i wont be dancing to that. something about lots of people watching me dance makes me incredibly nervous. but it will be played, on repeat. i told nora that tonight.

question for everyone;
WHAT makes YOU happy?


When I really think about it, more things than not make me happy, although I don't know if I ever really feel continually happy.
But even the things that make me happy, usually make me cry. I guess it's an emotional extreme. It doesn't matter if it makes you happy or sad, but it all depends on how intense the feeling is. Like something, like a baby, will make me happy for a little bit and cute babies will make me say "aww I want a baby," in which Sabrina (who's likely to be standing next to me when I say this) will laugh.

Things that make me happy;
BABIES
Puppies/Dogs
Kittens
Wild rabbits, not caged ones, they're boring and I pity them. if anything, they make me sad.
friends ( nora, tierney, kyle, ashley, deana, amanda, sam, aimee, caryn, brooke, jeanette, chris (happy bday!), hannah, amber, jackie, hughie, tiffany, sabrina, steph, all the mikey's, blake, danny, both andrew's, victor,
Wee John
mixed cds
Philadelphia
sad movies
nice dresses
sunny days
rainy Sundays
beaches
simultaneous laughing
locking eyes
not feeling awkward around people
plaid
watching snow
hugs
incandescent light bulbs
wikipedia
information
accomplishing things
my job (SOMETIMES)
strangers in love
strangers with their children
red
post impressionism
books
birch trees
driving on route 46 and the parkway
new york state throughway too
finding bargains
cute boys
when I actually cook things and they taste good
when I complete domestic tasks
seeing people that i miss
or seeing people that i don't miss but once meant a lot to me, its bittersweet
FOOD.
tax season
colors
HELLO KITTY<33333333333333


good night.

i wish my life was a little less seedy

why am i always so greedy?
wish i looked just like cheryl tweedy.
i know i never will, i know i never will.
i wish my life was not so boring
every weekend four to the flooring
don't get me started on monday morning.



OKAY.
enough with the lily allen.
As of right now, I'm over food. You know what, I think it's overrated. I know, unfortunately, I will not be able to follow through with this, but maybe if I think about it, I might be able to curb my food intake to like a meal a day. I think my liver hates me right now. So not eating might be good for it, or it could actually be much worse. But you know what, I'm an incredibly vain person. And every girl that is thin at my age and drinks just as much as I do, well.. they aren't eating either. So don't judge me. ALRIGHT?! And don't believe them if they say they are, I'm a girl, I know this shit first hand. If they're not going to the gym but still maintain a skinny frame, they're not eating. And if they are, I hope they die a miserable death cause I'm insanely jealous of them. I sound like a crazy person but I don't care. Since everything else in my life (for the first time ever) is going according to plan, I have one thing to bitch about, and that is my weight. Like how did this happen? How did I gain 20 pounds in 3 years? I haven't changed anything in my diet, I haven't stopped working out since I've NEVERRRR worked out. I don't understand it. I guess this is what aging is all about. Getting fat. Fuck this. Food, I've broken up with you as of today.
Besides food, I have one more complaint. If there are any nurses or future nurses out there reading this, please give me some advice.
I've had these pains before, they didn't just start occurring on Saturday night, butttt I've been having sharp, stabbing like pains in the lower, right side of my stomach, like right above my hipbones for a day and a half straight. It's an incessant feeling, and I've had it from like Saturday night at like 7am (i guess really sunday morning 7am) and it continued all throughout the day until when I woke up for work on monday morning. Sunday night (into monday) it felt so annoying that I couldn't fall asleep till 9am. It's this continuous, sharp, stabbing feeling, and I don't understand it.
On the right side of my back/side I feel a light soreness. It's like a bruising feeling, like someone just punched me in that spot. These two feelings are simutaneous; the stabbing and the soreness. I don't know what it is, and it keeps me up at night and unable to sleep. It's incredibly annoying.
enough of the wa wa wa's.
President's day weekend = PHILADELPHIA.
I can't wait. OMG.
Things have been chill. I'm excited for spring. It's been a cold winter. I like it.

black

i know someday you'll have a beautiful life, i know you'll be a star, in somebody elses sky, but why can't it be mine


i'm not tired. 5 am. i can't focus. i'm freezing. my teeth are clenched tightly together. i'm going to be alone on valentines day. yuck.

wednesday late night.

I hate being home late at night when I'm sober.
I guess maybe it's been awhile since I've done this, since I'm feeling so restless.
All I do is watch television, and binge eat.
Since 10 pm, I've consumed cheez its, an entire sundae from friendlys, some of a chocolate orange, a glass of milk, and a bottle of water.
Typically, one would think that if you were drinking you'd be intaking more calories, but for me it's actually the other way around.
I hate being home at night.
I'm bored out of my mind.
And I think I'm going to heat up some leftovers.
yay.